Holy Sh*t!



So around 8:05 Pacific, I felt some rumbling in my apartment - at first, I thought the neighbors were banging the walls or something, then I realized that it was much bigger than that. I told my mom that we were having an earthquake. I checked the site that I check more often than the weather sites (out here) to see where the quake was. At first, there was just a small white placeholder square with a red x in it. I refreshed, refreshed, refreshed, nothing. Then I refreshed and BOOM, there was a big red square, kind of far away from me (I'm probably between the second c in San Francisco and the lower of the two blue squares above that). I slept through the earthquake that happened on my birthday, so this is my second.

I don't think this is "the big one", and my old boss was in Indonesia during the 8.something quake there, with those 7.something "aftershocks" (btw, those aren't aftershocks, they're new earthquakes). Sig, what was the biggest earthquake you felt?

Jurg broke up with me. I don't think I've ever felt so horrible in my life.

I went to the doctor today. I had a breast exam, because I recently noticed a weird indentation/crease that I had never noticed before; the internet informed me that this could potentially be problematic, though not likely cancerous. I assumed it was nothing, seeing as how I'm 26 and have no familial history of breast cancer or other breast troubles, but at the same time I didn't want to ignore it and find out later that my cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and I had 3 months to live.

No doubt, my decision to see the doctor was influenced by the fact that it's breast cancer awareness month and so I've seen all kinds of terrifying statistics all over the place, and also by the fact that I just read Lucy Grealy's Autobiography of a Face, which details her battle with cancer (not of the breast variety, but still -- scary stuff). Oh. And, through the powers of MySpace, I recently found a cousin I hadn't seen or heard from in about 10 years...not since she moved to California to live with her dad after her mother died a long and horrible death from breast cancer. So yes. Compounding factors frightened my I-hate-the-doctor self into making an appointment.

I have budget insurance, and so I consulted my policy prior to making an appointment so I'd know what to expect. Unfortunately, I didn't realize quite how shitty my budget insurance is until today. I assumed my breast exam would be covered since, according to my policy, "Benefits for the first 3 home or office visits each calendar year are subject to the coinsurance stated in the Schedule of Member Cost Shares. The calendar year deductible is waived." I figured I'd have to pay 25% of the bill (my coinsurance) and be done with it, since this was an office visit. But no. It turns out that office visits for "preventative and routine care services" are not covered, and breast exams are preventative care (I think -- the policy is awfully cryptic). So I now have a $250 bill to pay for playing it safe and making sure I don't have cancer, rather than the expected $60. I'm not sure I would have gone in if I'd assumed a $250 bill, as I was 95% sure I had nothing to worry about. (That's bad, isn't it, that cost can stop people from seeing health care professionals in potentially life threatening situations?)

There's some hazy gray language in my policy about diagnostic services that I can't make sense of, and maybe my breast exam will fit into that category, but...I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see. The receptionist decided to bill it to the insurance company as a physical for now. She did this because "most health insurance policies cover 100% of an annual physical" -- that is, since an annual physical could in theory catch health problems early and ultimately save the insurance company some money, the company is willing to foot the bill. My budget policy, it turns out, doesn't cover physicals -- but I had no idea whether or not it did while I was in the office, not having memorized my confusing benefit booklet for Alaska residents. So. I have no idea what's going to happen, really, but it very likely could be a $250 bill, and that pisses me off. It should not be so fucking expensive to address a legitimate health concern...especially for a person who pays for health insurance every goddamn month. I could just as well flush my money down the toilet for all the good my insurance does me, it seems.

All I learned from this lousy doctor visit is that I have particularly lumpy breast tissue, which is not exactly a surprise. (The doctor told me the name for this type of breast tissue, but I've forgotten it.) My breast tissue is unusual only in that it's not terribly common; it's not dangerous or anything. However, this excessive lumpiness evidently makes my breasts especially prone to weird indentations such as the one I noticed, and my lumpy tissue makes it more difficult to detect cancer during a self-exam. Goody. That was [potentially] $250 well spent.

When did WCTC become Solarus? I don't expect any of you to know this, nor do I really care...it's more of a curiosity question, a "how can an entity that was so huge and stable in the community throughout my life change without my knowing it?" It's not a big deal, and it certainly doesn't affect my life one bit. It's just strange when what used to be my world rearranges itself without my knowledge. It's also strange to think of the WCTC building as anything other than the WCTC building, and it's strange to picture that building without the blue and yellow logo on the front.

So it goes.

I passed the bar!!!!